In recent years, internet dating has become increasingly popular. Long the hideout of the nerdy, lonely, and desperate, normal people who at one time wouldn't be caught dead admitting they knew what an "avatar" was, are turning out in droves. And while we all have spent quite a lot of time squandering company time on Facebook, people who might be suave in person still have a difficult time crafting a dating profile convincing the online dating scene they don't have chopped up kidneys in their freezer.

Sports

Image Source

Such a common topic of conversation it's almost a cliché, for some reason sports is universally accepted as a method for showing that you're at least normal. You may be a roided-up ex high-school superstar who yearns for his past glory and takes his frustration out on his girlfriend, but at least you can talk about the game last night. Created in the 1950s by the government to keep boring people placated and full of conversation topics, sports nonetheless is the quickest and most efficient way to say to the viewer "I am a man who is not a weirdo".

But Watch Out For:
If you are otherwise not interested in sports, it's dangerous to claim or demonstrate an interest in your profile. Only football and quantum mechanics can so quickly degenerate into a complex set of numbers, statistics and obscure names and equations. Even though it's possible to walk your way carefully through such a conversation, you've basically signed yourself up for an entire night of talking about a subject that you likely find uninteresting, intermittently nodding and saying things like "yeah that call was totally [whatever you just said]".

Don't Obsess

Image Source

Despite our better efforts, most of us have something we absolutely obsess over. Maybe you're a mathematician and you can't get over how elegant Fourier Transformations or Prime Numbers are. Maybe you're a hell of a lot sexier and can cite the stats of every entry in the Monster Manual from memory (ladies). Whatever the case, we all have something that we are almost freakishly obsessed with. But even if someone actually likes that thing too, talking about it frequently, filling your profile up with it, and making really lame puns about it only makes you seem like a boring one trick pony. Or, you know, freakishly obsessed with something.

But Watch Out For:
Not talking about your strengths. If what you obsess about is being an astronaut/MMA fighter with a 6 pack and a Ph.d., that's not bragging or obsessing, that's what dating experts refer to as "Just Bein' Awesome". Maybe you're a competitive interpretative dancer who tours the country. Your job is your life, and likely colors just about any question from "what are you doing with your life" (traveling and dancing) to "what is your favorite activity" (dancing and traveling).

Sluttiness (for both girls and guys)

Image Source

The weird thing about the internet is that even though it's probably the most public sphere on the internet, people still tend to treat their profiles like their own private grotto. You may live in the center of Manhattan, but I guarantee more people have seen your Facebook profile, a word you've written, or a picture of you today than have seen you. But you would never actually go outside in that outrageous tube top and short skirt, bending over and duck-facing for any stranger who asked.

And guys you may walk around shirtless, but imagine if you walked around aggressively pointing at your washboard and asking people to let you bench press them. That's what these poses scream to anyone who looks at them, they just aren't simply the type of things normal people ask their acquaintances to fixate on.

But Watch Out For:
Making yourself too clean cut when you're just looking for some action. Let's be honest, one of the greatest things about dating sites is they drastically decrease the cost and effort that comes with meeting new people. Someone can message several dozen people in a day and the simple "getting laid odds" are in their favor - and a lot of people use dating sites for just that. Taking the time to wear a polo shirt and comb what we can only assume to be the fetid semen of Satan himself our of your hair is just a waste of time. Don't bother trying to appeal to the rest of us, appeal to the slutty median of your own group.

Hobbies

Image Source

One of the central tenants of being normal is not appearing to be too hung up on one thing. Sure we're all passionate about fighting poverty or liberalism or Sauron or the impending Reaper invasion. But to a normal person who has a job, family, friends and goes outside the house, they by necessity have a lot of responsibilities and experiences. To them sitting down with a non-normal person is like signing up for a conversation where someone won't change their minds and won't change the subject.

Showing you engrossed in a hobby is like the positive version of "Don't Obsess" above. You're not only showing that you aren't freakishly focused on one thing, but that you also have a variety of interests and skills. On the plus side, you can then share your hobby with potential dates, as well as not running out of conversation topics when not talking about it.

But Watch Out For:
I'm sorry nerds and weird old ladies, only normal hobbies need apply. Your Warhammer figurine and Precious Moments collections put you just a little too far outside the standard deviation of acceptable. If you're have difficulty figuring out what hobbies are socially acceptable, try watching a movie with a seemingly ruthless, anti-hero type lead. Any hobby he see he or she indulging in is generally okay, but prepare yourself to paint a bunch of old model ships.

Musical Instruments

Image Source

Much like a hobby, showing yourself with a musical instrument is a great way to demonstrate that not only are you multi-talented, but you're artistic and soulful. According to the ridiculous false dichotomy, you instantly prove that you have an "artistic" side, and now all you need to prove is that you can think analytically. In addition, music proficiency can push you dangerously close to being considered (gasp!) "cool" and not just "normal".

But Watch Out For:
Brass, woodwind, basically anything besides an instrument in the Beatles - unless you're in a Jazz band. Anything besides a guitar, bass or drums just screams band camp, church groups or drum circle. Saxophones are a toss-up, just make sure you're wearing sunglasses, a fedora and are moodily-lit.

Animals

Image Source

Less on the "not obsessed with Naruto" end and more on the "Not waking up in a bathtub full of ice" end, it helps to have photographs of yourself having a grand old time with animals. After all, someone who cares for another creature speaks to their general empathy and ability to extend that awareness to other people. It generally means that, whoever this person is, they don't respond to things that don't do what they say with murder.

But Watch Out For:
If you're a guy, being in a photograph of just about anything other than a dog, or any dog with the sound "oodle" in its name. If you're a girl, anything resembling a cat is a dangerous area, and mentioning your cat in your profile is a quick way to be labeled a crazy cat lady - fairly or not. For guys, a parrot can be an option, but only if there is at least one picture of you in a pirate get-up. For girls, extra points are awarded for quirky pets such as a chinchilla. Really anything but cats for anyone, ever.

Don't Talk About Sex

Image Source

One of the biggest problems with communication online, is that you can't add expressions, tone of voice, or "heyoooo"s without it seeming stilted and weird. Sex is a topic that can easily prompt even the filthiest minds to ask you to please never over-share again. That's why when it's talked about, it's usually in a playful or joking manner. Absolutely zero of that translates well to your dating profile.

But Watch Out For:
A girl with a mention of sex in her profile might be able to get away with it, coming of a open-minded, liberal and/or empowered. Both genders can get away with the occasional "that's what she said", which actually encourages the perception of you as normal - it being the most neutered sexual innuendo in history. Finally, for some baffling reason, both genders can easily get away with pictures of them humping statues.

Wear A Suit

Image Source

If you want to be perceived as normal, you need one of those things that normal people have. Legends tell of the land once being full of them, going by the ancient name of "A Decent Job". They have been long since driven from the Earth, but still the natives of North America and elsewhere frequently dress in the traditional garb of "Asoot and Tie", performing now-meaningless rituals such as interviews and trying to impress your parents. This long-dead culture is still a marking of great status among dating sites, proving that the wearer is couched in in cultural norm and relative affluence. Sometimes a suit and tie isn't necessary, but at least a polo shirt and some khakis come on Dave.

But Watch Out For:
Wearing a suit or work clothes in every picture. It makes you not look like a normal person who is down for going out but also enjoys staying at home to watch a movie. It makes you look like a workaholic, the type of person who never talks about anything but shop at dinner. Normal people have jobs, yes, but we don't like being expected to devote a lot of time to them.

Show Your Friends

Image Source

Dating sites often discourage you from putting up photos of people besides yourself, but showing yourself with friends (with those friends' permission, of course), is a great way to prove that you, Normal Q. Normalsmith, is able to be tolerated by other people. You have successfully interacted with other people and it's possible they are even fond of you. Some may even be giving you high-fives, hugs, or other symbols of affection that indicate you are a normal, cool dude who frequently refrains from being weird or murders-strangers-ey.

But Watch Out For:
To you, it looks like a great night out with your friends doing wacky things. To an outsider, it's hard to get the context because, let's face it, we do some pretty stupid things while in groups. Try to consider that what you may fondly remember as a wicked night out, might look like a string of felonies to an outsider (which it very well may have been, but that's beside the point).

Username

Image Source

The first thing anyone will notice from your online dating profile is your cleavage. The second thing they will notice is your username. If you would like to be presumed as normal, imagine you are choosing an e-mail address that will go on all your job applications. That should be your username. You may be tempted to put something referencing your personality, your favorite movie or something cute and clever. However, these are far to prone to misinterpretation.

You may be a fan of Dr. Who, but making your username LuvsDRWHOOOO makes you seem like you're obsessed, even though you only mention it one other time in your profile. It has the ability to completely distort whatever information is put into it, so best just to go with something generic. Plus, very few people will pay much attention to it anyway.

But Watch Out For:
Making your username (or anything about you seem) too normal. No one may notice your username, but Rachel89777 just feels wrong and leads to an immediate knee-jerk shout of "LAME!". It's like a seizure induced by flashing beige and taupe. Similarly generic words for "person" trigger a similar response. Names like Dude86 or Bro77 or 9llChick9II, are a smear of pure-white bird feces on white milquetoast. Come on people, this is the internet. It is a place where people who like having sex with mock-ups of the Empire State building can meet each other and be happy fantasizing about large bolts and welding. Sure you can play the odds to your advantage by being as normal as possible, but you can also play the odds and hope that your fellow writer of Firefly slash fiction who loves cats is out there somewhere.

This article was written by Gerri Elder, a blogger from South Carolina. The views expressed in it are hers and do not necessarily match those of Free Dating.co.uk.

8 Most Expensive Romantic Gestures Ever

1. Taj Mahal - Cost: 20 years, 20,000 workers, 1000 elephants.

Source

Some would say that having the Taj Mahal constructed in your name would make you a pretty lucky lady. Others may point out that having given birth to 14 children means you're probably due something special. Yet others may even say that Shah Jahan (the guy who built it) loses brownie points for forgetting to start it until after his devoted wife had passed away.

If you want to build your own romantic gesture, look no further...

Source

Small details aside, he did still get it built, and it was a very romantic gesture. And yes, it was also very expensive. How expensive? Well, it took twenty thousand workers over twenty years to build it. Over a thousand elephants were used to fetch materials. Twenty eight types of precious and semi-precious stone were used, including turquoise from Tibet, jade from China and sapphire from Sri Lanka.

Justin Beiber, eat your heart out. The most romantic gesture in history belongs to Mughal emperor Shah Jahan.

True Player

Source

Source, source, source

2. Richard Burton's Massive Diamond - Cost: $15,200,000

Big enough to actually be her best friend

Source

It didn't take twenty years and umpteen elephants to build, but it still stands as an enormously expensive romantic gesture. Before this diamond was sold, the most expensive diamond in the world had sold for $300,000 - Richard Burton paid $1.1 million (Over $15 million in today's dollars) for the Taylor-Burton diamond, dwarfing that figure.

When not buying enormous diamonds, Burton was fond of staring meaningfully into space

Source

Elizabeth Taylor, a star graduate of the 'bigger is better' school of thought, once quipped that 'big girls need big diamonds'. Apparently, modesty isn't all that easy when you've got a 69 carat diamond weighing you down. In Taylor's defence, she did sell it for $5 million, and built a hospital in Botswana with the funds.

Who says enormously expensive romantic gestures can't be a force for good in the world?

Source, source, source

3. Jay-Z Buys an Island, Beyonce Buys a Car - Cost: $20,000,000

Beyonce's thinking face, mid-Sudoku

Source

Some things strike us as so ostentatious as to be plain vulgar. We have no idea where (or whether) Beyonce wrote 'Boyfriend', but we hope it wasn't on the island Jay-Z reportedly bought for her for a stonking $20,000,000. Quite why the singer is in need of an island (being neither an explorer nor a horticulturalist) isn't clear, but it definitely counts as a very expensive romantic gesture.

This isn't the island Jay-Z bought for Beyonce. And boy was she mad about it.

Source

Never one to look a gift horse - or Jay-Z - in the mouth, Beyonce promptly spent $2,000,000 on a brand spanking new Bugatti Veyron for her lover. Maybe he'll drive it around her island.

Source

4. The Oldest Champagne on Earth - Cost: $39,000

The world's oldest bottle of Champagne nestles next a small jar of gherkins.

Source

As a rule, don't give your significant other something that you've just found lying around. Unless, of course, it is a 170 year old - yet still drinkable - bottle of Champagne.

It's sure to pop their cork.

Source

Ravi Viswanathan reportedly heard about the Champagne at the auction, and thought that it would "be a fitting gift for the occasion [as] this year's actually our tenth year wedding anniversary".

The bottle of Veuve Clicquot was found in a shipwreck at the bottom of the Adriatic Sea and sold for a whopping €30,000.

Source

5. A Fragrance Fit for a Footballer - Cost: $50,000

All he needs now is a super-exclusive perfume...

Source

Posh spice, super millionaire, ex-spice girl and fashion 'expert', spent $50,000 on a bottle of Clive Anderson No. 1 fragrance for her well toned, football-kicking hubby. The perfume is completely exclusive, taking a staggering 6 months to prepare.

Fragrances you can afford, so the Beckham's can afford more of their own

Source

What makes this gift extra special is the fact that the bottle is made from crystal and carved in the shape of a football boot.

Source

6. Bling Bling Toilet Seat - Cost: $105,000

Imagine sitting your fine, celebrity bum on that.

Source

What did Ben Affleck get his girlfriend 'Jenny from the block', J-Lo? A jewel encrusted toilet seat. Obviously wanting to grant his loved one's buttocks the very best of treatment, the toilet is encrusted with rubies, sapphires and diamonds. We're sure this gift would make Jenny flush with adoration.

What most of us have to look forward to.

Source

The cost of such finery is a sweet $105,000. Although clearly lacking romance, it is mind-boggling expensive.

Source

7. Melt Your Heart Igloo - Cost: $150,000+

Imagine something like this, but in igloo form.

Source

An igloo does not sound like a very comfy or romantic gift. Yet, topping my list as king of romantic love is Seal for his gift to the lucky, lucky Heidi Klum. We're not too sure of the cost of this grand escapade, but I'm guessing that the helicopter to get there and the igloo itself cost more than the average romantic gesture, never mind the diamond.

I'd like to think that the location was a pun on his name.

Source

Don't be fooled by the tiny, cramped appearance of an average igloo. This one featured a bed with sheets, roses, and candles. We don't think any woman on earth wouldn't brave the cool air for this winter wonderland of romance.

Source

8. Cheeky Arena Getaway - Cost: $250,000+

Taken following a post Pokémon tantrum.

Source

Yes, that's right; Bieber makes the cut. This young pop singer sure knows how to schmooze the ladies. He took long-time girlfriend Selena Gomez to a Demi Levato concert. The little Romeo then took her through a secret underground corridor to a conjoining separate arena. They had the entire place to themselves for a romantic meal together.

I consider this film at least a PG 13, How old is Bieber again?

Source

After their lovely meal, they cuddled up to the epically romantic Titanic. A beautiful film; suitable for any couple.

Source

This article was written by Danny Ashton, a blogger from Manchester. The views expressed in it are his and do not necessarily match those of Free Dating.co.uk.

15 Mismatched Couples

No matter how tolerant we say we are, there will always a fascination with couples that seem not to fit. We all know the saying love conquers all, as these couples can attest to.

Alexander Gradsky is the Russian meatloaf, pictured here with his fourth wife, Ukrainian model Marina Kotashenko.

Two creatures of outstanding natural beauty.

Inesa Vaiciute (25) and Barrington de la Roche (63) two artists living in London, they often work in collaboration.

Barrington on their art - "One piece has Inesa crucified with a dead pig hanging over her as I play with the entrails. That sort of thing."

Dudley Moore with Susan Anton (Time Magazines Most Promising Face of 1979). Moore Stood at 5'2", Anton was 5'11".

If the picture on the right is to be believed either Anton stood at 4'8" or Moore has grown to a vikingesque 6'4".

We are unable to confirm or deny rumours that this is a photo of Beth Ditto after travelling though time to rescue Iggy Pop from himself.

She's looking at your garbage.

Some scientists claim that as couples become more committed to one another, their body mass indexes begin to align. The following images show that these couples must either be at an early stages of their relationship, or that the scientists are wrong. It wouldn't be the first time they've messed up.

And finally perhaps the most mismatched couple of all...

Abraham Lincoln, author of the Emancipation proclamation embraces plantation owning slave trader George Washington.

This article was written by Danny Ashton, a blogger from Manchester. The views expressed in it are his and do not necessarily match those of Free Dating.co.uk.

12 Romantic Tree Tunnels

There's nothing more enchanting than strolling through a tree lined pathway with the light spilling through the branches. When the tree branches bend over to form a natural tunnel then the sensation is all the more romantic and sometimes even a little eerie. There are thousands of these green tunnels all over the world and below is just a small selection of photos which capture the beauty of this natural phenomenon.

1. Aberglasney, Wales

Image Source

 

 

2. Taiwan

Image Source

 

 

3. Kanagawa, Japan

Image Source

 

 

4. California, USA

Image Source

 

 

5. Marmaris, Turkey

Image Source

 

 

6. Burgos, Spain

Image Source

 

 

7. Hawaii

Image Source

 

 

8. Florida, USA

Image Source

 

 

9. Adelaide, Australia

Image Source

 

 

10. Missouri, USA

Image Source

 

 

11. Co. Antrim, Ireland

Image Source

 

 

12. Vila Real, Portugal

Image Source

 

 

This article was written by David Eaves, a blogger from Lancaster. The views expressed in it are his and do not necessarily match those of Free Dating.co.uk.